Straitline Components Exposed..or not?
XXIV has secured the rights to an exclusive story of Straitline Components. We have fought A Current Affair and Today Tonight, tooth and nail in the supreme courts securing an injuction to exclusive coverage of this unveiling article on Straitline components.
It seems everyone has had the wool pulled over their eyes. While we sit here riding their sweet products, one has to think that a genius has designed these products within a thousanth of an inch of their life. It seems this is untrue. From the top secret pictures we have uncovered, it seems that Greg Parish (Straitline “Marketing Extroardinare”) is merely getting shit-faced on vodka supplied by competitors (Brooklyn Machine Works) and just mashing buttons on the CNC machines.
Our thorough investigative / cheque book journalism skills have uncovered some videos of the antics which have caused public outrage. It appears the guys are such booze hounds that they don’t even know which way to hold a camera up.
Rumour has it, this fusion of forces was the source of the amazing iStem…has anyone seen one of those?….
Fireworks + Honkas + CNC Machines = Awesome fun/destruction
Would you beleive he did 4 years at uni for this…Drinking?….as he failed his uni degree…in marketing. But here he is running the show! There is something to be said for criminal rehab, well done Greg. You go tiger!
Be sure to check back with XXIV for all your exclusive current affairs exposures on Straitline Components and the infamous Greg Parish. Greg take off you glasses and apoligse to everybody that you have frightened; to the police who were forced to retreat and cars who have been damaged; and to the community who have had to pay for this! He must think he is just made of dollar dollar bills yall!